adoption info mtg at church

First off, I love our sweet little church.  The pastor is very supportive of adoption and orphan care.  He lets me run with the vision and ministry God planted in me.  Sunday night we held our first "thinking about adopting/fostering" meeting.  I was so pumped because 6 couples came.  A sweet family at church spoke about their experiences with foster to adopt.  Then my sis and her hubs, Melody and Brad, shared about their journey in adoption and fostering.  I led the meeting and was so happy to have them all sharing and open for Q and A.  We were very very open and upfront with the couples about the realistic expectations when entering in to the adoption and/or fostering world.  Perhaps too upfront!  I dont know, but maybe we scared them all off :)  Really, I ran out of time and didn't get to share much at all about international adoption or about the beauty, miraculous, exciting, humbling, joyous, and all around love that comes with adoption!!  Dang it--now I'm obsessing again over whether or not it was good enough.  Anyone else out there always struggling to decide if you are good enough?? 
Anyways, I made a Preparing for Adoption worksheet for the families to work through.  I figured somebody landing on this blog might find it helpful. 


Motivation: Are we interested in parenting for life? Do we truly desire to adopt or is it just a cool Christian fad we like?

Marriage stability: Are we united in our desires? Can we talk openly and honestly about our dreams and desires? Can we handle waiting, frustration, the unknowns without turning on each other?

Finances: Debt—is our house in order or are we upside down in debt? Do we tithe according to Biblical principals?! Do we trust God to provide when He guides our family down a path? Are we willing to live radically to pay for adoption expenses? Are you willing to drive a crappy car for 10 years in order to not be strapped in debt so you can pay the fees with adoption?

Racial issues: Can we love a child of another race? Do we live in a diverse community? What about your extended family? Am I willing to face mean and ignorant people at Wal-Mart?

Loss and Grief: if walked through infertility: have we processed our grief over the loss of the biological child we felt we would have? Am I expecting an adopted child to replace that loss?

Blending biological children and adopted children: what are the personalities and needs mix of our current children? Be prepared to talk about hard sex ed type questions.

Paperwork:
Expect to complete background checks, fingerprinting, home- studies and reference letters, portfolios, medical clearance for yourself, psychological evaluation and lots of required adoption education.

Selecting an agency:
Experience in the type of adoption/fostering you are interested in, word of mouth is the best resource, talk to families who’ve used an agency, do they offer post adoption support, do they take you through the paperwork step by step or do they leave you to figure it out on your own, do they have a list of families willing to answer questions about their adoption experiences, do you want a local agency or does that really matter

Post adoption support:
It is very important to remember that adoption doesn’t end with the child taking your last name. Adoption forever alters your family. There will be rough patches and questions. Realize that you will want and need a network of post adoption education and support. Pick an agency that has a long history of offering post adoption support.
How to finance an adoption: see article taken from Dillon International's website, tax credit, free if an older child or hard to place child with the state

Medical and/or developmental needs:
Be realistic. Any child that has experienced intrauterine stress, great disruption and loss are at risk for developmental and/or medical problems.

Recommended Reading:

Are Those Kids Yours?

Adopted for Life

Radical

Love is a Decision

Toddler Adoption

The Connected Child

Raising Adopted Children

Attaching in Adoption

Verses to pray over:
Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 9:10, James 1:27, Isaiah 1:17, Psalm 94:18-19, Psalm 139:14, Isaiah 48:17, Matthew 25:35-40