mixed up

Do you guys find your thoughts and emotions are jumbled up like a bunch of electrical cords entangled behind the old 1995 desk top computers?  Lately, I feel all mixed up, like sweet and salty, at the same time.

Here is Carter driving himself to school for the first time.  A big mixture of feelings:  happiness, relief, terror, sadness...  I guess really it felt like a hole in my being.  He doesn't really need me.  I want him to need his momma. And yet, in ways, it is nice to not be needed so much.  Arrrg, I'm going crazy.

Abby had an "entering 6th grade meeting" at school.  I'm excited because it is fun to move into secondary school and that is where daddy's office is.  I'm sad because elementary is behind us and elementary is so sweet and fun...and yet that in itself is nice because it means no more Valentines parties, long plaid jumpers that she has to wear on Chapel days, no more Field Day(can I get a big amen from the parent section?!).
Hudson got an invitation from his soon to be principal at Trinity where he will go to PreK every morning next fall.  I'm so excited for him to go to school--believe me, that child NEEDS to be in school.  But, my very last baby.  No afternoon naps next to a chubby kid.  No good excuse to  not volunteer to drive on a field trip :)  Okay, I'd never use my little blessings for that, or have I several times already?
Ok, seriously, I'd saved this draft post this morning and tried to concentrate on my homework(I have 8 weeks left before graduating and it is hard to stay on task), but I found myself on Jen Hatmaker's blog.  Unbelievable, I mean, I knew, after reading Interrupted and 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess, that she was my unknown soul sista, but she posted something just like what is swirling in my mind!  Here is a link to her blog JEN She is a much better writer than I am, you mom's will enjoy it. 
Things are changing.  Time begins flying by faster and faster. I can barely hang on.