Friday, August 7, 2009

Battling some anxiety

We are so close to getting our travel call. Seriously, it could be today, or at least in the next 2 weeks! I'm starting to really struggle with some anxiety over our trip. I'm scared of how much our plane tickets are going to be. Have you ever bought tickets to Korea during peak season with only 3 days notice??? Not cheap! I'm scared of the plane ride home with a 20months old little boy who has never seen us before. If you are a passenger on our flight home, I'm sorry. I'm scared of figuring out who is going to take care of Dillon and Carter while we are gone and how they are going to juggle football practices, school and schedules. I'm really scared of them getting sick or hurt and I can't get to them. Just a few months ago, Dillon was very sick. He had a febrile seizure for the first time ever at over 6yrs of age. Because it is abnormal to be so old for your first febrile seizure, he spent 2 days in the hospital and got a spinal tap and EEG, IV antibiotics and breathing treatments. What if it happens again and I'm on the other side of the world?? I was holding him during the seizure. It was terrifying and I thought he was dying(and I've been a critical care nurse for a long time). Then 2months later, Carter fell while ice skating and got a serious concussion. He also spent 2 days in the hospital and the CT scan showed several tiny areas of bleeding in his brain. He is fine now, but what if it happens again and I'm not able to get to him? It would take at least 2 days for us to get home for an emergency! The enemy is really using my need to be in charge and on top of things to rob my joy right now! I've not slept well the past 3 nights because of worrying. I know my Father God is in control and I can't change anything. I'm praying Phillipians 4:6-7 right now.
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

How do people deal with life without knowing Jesus as their personal savior, friend, helper? If I believed the humanistic mumbo-jumbo about everything in life being left to chance, that my God wasn't involved in every aspect of my life and didn't hear my prayers, I'd fall apart.

1 comment:

  1. Libby,
    My family will be praying for you and we are here if you need anything!
    Emily Suss

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