Leaving Korea and adjusting(Long!)

Sorry this took so long. Let's just say the last 3 days have kicked my patootie!!

So, our last day in Korea. We went to tour the DMZ that morning. We booked through I Love Seoul tours(the flyer is in the foyer of EAstern for you Dillon families coming). They picked us up at 8:20 and we drove about 50minutes out of Seoul. It was great to get out of the huge concrete city and see the beautiful country. We went to the train station built several years ago that was supposed to connect S. and N. Korea, but hasn't. Then we went to the Third Tunnel that was built by the N. Koreans. We walked down a steep slope about 250 meters, it was tough! The end of the tunnel was just amazing. It was so small, Mike had to walk stooped over and we all wore yellow hard hats. No pictures were allowed inside--darn. Then we drove to the Dorasan observatory. Unbelieable! From a high deck, we could look through binaculours to North Korea. We saw the propaganda village--where noboy really lives. You couldn't take a picture past a certain yellow line. Mike's height finally had an advantage. He held our camera way up and got a photo. The flag pole in the picture above is the N. Korean flag. Seriously, it was crazy knowing that we were so close to the most closed and fanatic Communist country in the world. After that we went to pack. We met with Hudson and his foster mom(and her daughter) at 4pm. We thought we were to have a short play outing, but they decided we needed to leave for the airport at 4:40. So, we sat in the playroom for a while and talked through our translator. The foster mom showed me all his favorite snacks for the plane ride and how to make his bottles(yes, he takes lots of bottles, which I'll address later). At 4:40 we all went downstairs and Dr. Kim, the president of Eastern Social Welfare Society came to pray. Hudson had no idea what all the fuss was about and played. His foster mom, however, sobbed quietly(me too!!). Then it was a blur of activity, they whisked us to the van, placed him in my lap and we drove off. I turned to look at the foster mom and she fell to her knees crying--No Lie! I was crushed for her. Hudson handled things really well as long as Abby was near him. At the airport, our first wave of grief hit. He had a complete panic attack. He walked in circles scanning the crowds and screaming. We could do nothing to comfort him. But, the Lord answered everyone's prayers!! A miracle on the plane happened. He was so busy playing with all the buttons on the remotes in the seats, he wasn't sad. Then he listened to the headphones with music and swayed his body. It was really cute. About 2 hours into the 11 hour flight, he fell asleep. On Asiana Airlines they have a bassinet that snaps into the wall in the bulkhead, in front of the seats. He was way too big, but he fell asleep. That child slept until 1 hour before we landed!!!! He was so big that he kept flopping his legs over the sides and couldn't roll over, but he stayed asleep. I kept praying "Thank you Jesus, now please don't let him wake up." At LA, he was a wild man in the airport--running around pulling Abby by the hand. On the next plane, same story, as above. I couldn't believe it. When we landed, we were met with a shock. A small group of family and friends were waiting. We had no idea they were coming since we landed at 11:35 and hadn't invited anyone. I started crying and Mike did too when we saw them. Oh, how I missed Carter and Dillon! Hudson was calm and walked over to Dillon and hugged him. That night he thought it was day time! I told God that since he'd answered our prayers for the flights, I couldn't complain about never going to bed Wednesday night. I'll be honest here folks, this has been really hard. Hudson is doing better than I expected, but still hard. He is terrified of Mike and so I'm the one man show right now. This saddens Mike because he is very much a loving, hands on daddy. He told Hudson "but all babies love me!" If he can't see me, he screams. I'm fighting a sinus infection and have some sort of Korean revenge stomach issue and can't eat more than a few bites at a sitting. Our social worker warned us long ago that adopting a toddler was really tough because you don't get that snuggly baby time. Babies stay put for a while. Not this kid. He is a very very curiuos and smart little boy. He pulls the blinds, opens all the cabinets, unrolls the toilet paper, puts everything he finds on the floor in his mouth and so on. I feel so guilty because it seems like all I'm ever saying is "No, don't touch that!" He just wants to explore his environment. As for his attachement, it will take time. I can't pull out his shoes because he gets all excited and starts looking around for his foster mom. He grieved for a long time last night--laying on the pallet with me moaning and crying. I couldn't comfort him--he'd push my hand away if I touched him. Finally he fell asleep. We are just praying for peace and for his fears to melt. We know it will take time and get better and better each day. He is so cute with cheeks that jiggle when he takes a steps and he jabbers a lot(not sure if it is Korean words or what). This morning we had a quick check with our pediatrician to make sure nothing major was going on. He weighed 28 pounds(my arm muscles would swear at least 35!) and was 32 inches tall. We have to get him off the bottle ASAP as he has severe baby bottle rot of his top 4 teeth that need capping. I have to find the balance between him needing comfort and time to attach and transitioning him off bottles of formula. It seems he likes bottles of water so I think I'll do that more often. Our family and friends have all been so sweet to give us some space. My house is a total disaster. I'm the type who normally would have had everything unpacked, the laundry washed,and the mail sorted. But, I'm trying to practice what I preach to new adoptive moms--sleep when the baby sleeps!!! As for the big kids, they are wonderful. If Abby is around Hudson is at her feet. She is being very patient with him. Carter keeps practicing his few Korean words with him! Dillon loves to be the big boy and is "helping" me tell Hudson what he can and can't touch ;)

Thanks for the sweet well wishes and I hope to post a family pic in the next few days!