Life Book

Adoption experts recommend families make lifebooks for their children.  These basically tell the child's life story and can be as simple or as elaborate as the family chooses.  It should tell of the life the child had before joining his/her new family(don't forget that just because it may not have been a wonderful life, it was still his/her life story and should be honored), the process of joining the family, and then life within the family, including important events and people.  I guess similar to a scrapbook.  When the children are old enough to know the details of their birthfamily and story, we will add that info.  My sister Emily is super creative. She even has a blog about her crafts(http://www.faithhopeandart.blogspot.com/)  I'm not--at all!!!  Emily made a small baby lifebook for Hudson.  I just have to get on the ball and add pics.  I've chosen several to include.  Above are pictures of the lifebook. 

5 years ago today

We got a big surprise.  Carter was 8, Abby was 4, and Dillon was almost 2.  I didn't feel right and new something strange was happening.  To quench my curiosity, I bought a pregnancy test while grocery shopping with Abby and Dillon.  I kid you not when I say that I bought it, went to the restroom there in Kroger and took the test with Abby and Dillon in the stall!!!  Well, you guessed it,it was positive.  God had clearly, almost audibly told me, in August of 2000, that I'd never be pregnant again and we'd build our family through adoption.  What the heck was happening??  I shook like a leaf while I finished buying groceries, called my good friend Kim and left a message on her phone that said "I think I'm having a crisis here."  You see, I'd so desperately wanted to be pregnant for many years.  But, not anymore.  I was sad thinking about my 2 Asian children sandwiched between biological children.  I could hear the  insensitive sayings swirl in my head "See, I KNEW you'd get pregnant after you adopted"  UGH, I hate that statement! It implies that after you settled for second best, you really got the true prize.  When I told MIke that night, he reminded me that this was good news and a blessing.  We went to bed.  At 1am I woke up in severe pain.   I worked in ER for 5 years and had seen tubal pregnancies.  So, a few hours later, I was admitted to the hospital with a tubal pregnancy.  I'm so thankful that we didn't know about the baby until it was too late.  I'm so thankful I never had a chance to get excited or tell people about it.  God was merciful in the fact that I was so early in the pregnancy, that I didn't have to have surgery.  At 7pm that night, I signed consent for them to give me a shot that is similar to a chemo drug.  Basically, it destroys rapidly dividing cells.  What a horrible horrible thing for a Christian who is prolife and believes life begins at conception to make the decision to receive a medication to kill the tiny new life growing inside.  It was to spare my life.  My sweet and patient ob/gyn said "Libby, people still die from tubal pregnancies."  The enormity of it all really didn't hit me until a week later and I lost it.  Was the baby a girl or boy?  Would it have looked just like Carter?  Why, after begging God to let me get pregnant in earlier years, did this happen?  I'll never know, this side of heaven the answers to those questions.  But, one day, when Jesus calls me home, I'll meet my 5th child and know all the answers.  For now, I'm so blessed and happy with my family. We are content.  I mean, I feel like the most blessed and favored woman in the world!!!

Adventure never ends around here

So we had a day off all together(thanks Columbus!) and decided to do something fun, yet cheap!  It is such dreary weather here this weekend so we headed for our favorite thrift store.  I'm telling you this place is huge and great.  We picked up Carter's friend to come with us.  When we pulled into our parking spot, Mike said "oh my, that man is bleeding."  I looked and saw an older man standing in the parking lot holding his arm with blood all over his clothes, smeared on his car door and on the parking lot.  I assumed he'd gotten stabbed or something dramatic(well, the thrift store isn't in the best part of town).  I grabbed our new first aid kit-thanks to Mike replacing our old one, put on gloves and went over to him.  He had just left dialysis and I'm guessing they sent him on his way before the fistula clotted off.  I asked him to let me see and when he moved the gauze, a tiny stream of blood shot up in the air.  I grabbed Hudson's spit rag and held it down hard.  Apparently the man had been standing there next to his car bleeding while his wife shopped.  By the looks of things, it had been a while!  The wife came out  and decided to take him to the doctor.  We tied his belt above his fistula(not to worry,it wasn't very tight and was way above the fistula) and I  told him to keep his arm up.  Off they went.  Carter 's friend was wide eyed and said "everytime I hang out with Carter something crazy happens."  We shopped and got some great bargains.  I'm telling ya, the only place to buy kids play clothes is a thrift store.  We got Hudson a really nice out fit for $6, Abby got 2 Limited Too shirts for cheap.  Love it!  So then we went to eat.  Hudson is still learning how to chew food and frequently chokes.  He'd eaten lots of yummy food and all was well.  I gave him a vanilla ice cream cone and he was enjoying it.  All of a sudden, we could see the look.  You experienced moms know the look!  Here came all his food--unchewed particles and all, spewed down his shirt and into his high chair.  I grabbed him up and headed for the van.  I felt so sorry for the diners around us who were looking at the adorable little boy eating his ice cream cone ;)
So, here it is 3:30 pm.  I'm in my pjs and not going anywhere!!

Falling hard

It is official, I'm falling in love with little Hudson!  I know, you may be thinking "What you didn't love him the last month?".  Actually, for me, the first 3 weeks felt more like babysitting.  I mean, I knew he was mine, I knew God ordained Hudson to be our son, I knew I'd one day love him to pieces.  But, these things take time.  It is totally unrealistic to expect to feel warm fuzzies everytime you look at this adorable stranger in your home.  The papers say he is your new son, but your heart and mind need to spend time with him.  The last several days, I just can't kiss those fat cheeks enough(he is getting a little sick to death of that!).  People say "He is so cute" and I'm like--You better believe it, he's down right adorable!!!  Mike and Hudson are becoming pretty good buddies too.  Hudson runs up to him and hugs his legs.  Wow, God, you are amazing aren't you??  I shudder to think what would be happening if we'd deleted that email from Dillon International about a little boy needing a family.  Where would Hudson be?  What would his future be?  Where would our family be?  Yep, we'd have a lot more money, and my life would certainly be easier.  Who the heck wants THAT!????  I'd never know what it feels like to have him grab my finger and take me to whatever it is he wants to show me.  I'd never get to watch him walk down the street with me and his chubby cheeks jiggling with every step.  I'd never get full open mouth slobber kisses everytime I pucker mine up at him!  Hmmmmm, I don't see any comparison here folks.  It is LOVE.

More good news for little man Dillon.  The school principal called me yesterday and wanted my approval to try for him to spend all day with the regular ed kindergartners next week.  It seems he is making such good progress that they want to try it.  I'm delighted.  I explained to Dillon that he would not being spending his time with Mrs. Tracey(his beloved aide in the special ed room) because he was doing so well that he would be in the big kindergarten class.  Let's just say, he isn't nearly as pumped as Mike and I are ;)  Please continue praying for him.  He is talking more and more but struggles.  Yesterday he wanted to tell me something about school and I couldn't understand him.  He kept repeating the word over and over and saying "um um um" ---it just wouldn't come out.  Then, in desperation he cried "Help Me!'  OUCH---that breaks my heart!!!!!!!!!!!  Why God does my baby boy have to fight to talk???  Please loose his brain and tongue to communicate clearly.

1 whole month

I can't believe a month has gone by!  Wow, we've been blowing and going since we landed.  I'm really really trying to spend some quiet days at home helping Hudson adjust to family life.  He is really smart and knows how to give High Five, uses More and All Done signs, says Uh-oh, plus says a few Korean words that I'm unsure what the mean.  He is sleeping better and better.  He has become a "velcro baby" and I can't be out of his sight(a little disturbing going potty with a toddler standing in front of you with his hands on your legs!!!).  His behavior is the most patience-trying area.  He is more like a 14months old rather than a 22months old.  I really can see that he is very smart, just didn't get any training.  I think he was pretty  much the little emporer of his foster mother's home! We are really working on some basic rules of not touching the fireplace or oven or tv, not hitting, not exploding into sobs with every little irritation.  Hey, give the kid a break though--think about the HUGE changes he's gone through.  I'd throw a temper tantrum too :)

Today we tried to get a social security number for him.  HMPH!  Those stupid government agencies really tick me off.  They wont issue him one without a final adoption decree.  We can't finalize til he's been in our home for 6 months.  So, I'll get a Tax Id number for our tax purposes.  It is sooooo dumb because SSA gave Abby and Dillon a number right after they came home.  Apparently the rules change daily. 

As for the other kiddos, Carter has to sit out his football game tomorrow.  He got hit again last week and has been a tad dizzy with headaches.  Because his concussion was so bad in May, we can't take any chances.  Abby is supposed to be in a patriotic musical for school tomorrow night, but just came home not feeling well.  I'm praying for protection from the H1N1 virus.  Dillon has respiratory problems and does NOT need that! 

We have a shower for Hudson at church this Sunday. We are so blessed I can't believe it! I'm trying to slow down and enjoy my days with Hudson.  Before I know it, he'll be starting preschool.  These are precious memory-making times.

A Hooray answer to prayer!

So, I've mentioned my sister and her husband's most beautiful foster baby girl before.  Well, baby J came to live with M and B when she was 4.5months old.  I can't go into details, and it is nobody's business, but she needed a new family!  Today, after many many months of praying, her birthparent's rights were terminated in court!!!!  YIPPEE.  So, M and B now petition to adopt her through the state.  They are expecting this to take about 60-90 days.  Baby J is now 14months old and just thriving.  She is super gorgeous, smart, energetic, happy and a blessing to all who know her.  M and B deserve her!  They have walked through very dark valleys and trials of infertility and loss.  Last year, I was praying that God would send them a baby who needed them as much as they needed the baby.  He did just that.  Here are some verses we are praying over their family:
   Isaiah 61:3(The chapter is about Jesus and what he does in and through his people)...... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.  They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.  

Baby J(but not for long as you will have a new name to go with your new family), welcome to the family!  We adore you, we've prayed for you and over you, we look forward to watching your flourish and bring joy to your momma and daddy.  You are wanted!  You are valuable and precious!  God has a great plan to use you in His kingdom.  When you are legally adopted, I'll post a picture so the world can oohh and ahhh over you.

Delightful

Delightful is what he is becoming.  As my sweet buddy Susie noticed, everyday Hudson seems more relaxed and happier.  Last night and today he was delightful.  He is happy and easy-going most of the time.  He even started kissing daddy, not prompted!  Today my mom, Mike, and I all cheered Dillon on at the Special Olympics kick-off at a town near us.  Hudson had a ball and was super good.  I can't believe how blessed I am to have an easy going, big eater, super smart new baby boy!!!  Thanks Father, you do give good gifts :)