New Waiting Children

FYI, if anyone out there is feeling a tug to adopt a waiting boy in Korea, the Dillon International Waiting Child page has a couple.  There are some fairly strict qualifications that you must fit and you can't see pics without filling out a questionarre and getting a password, but they are sweeties.  Just want to throw that out there.......ya know, just in case a little boy would complete your family..... like our little Hudson did! ;)

Okay, I'm back(had to go do dishes.  I wanted to keep talking about Korea.  I just told Mike and Abby yesterday that I felt a  little homesick.  You ever have that feeling?  Kind of an itch to go.  I was reflecting on walking the crowded streets of a city of 10million, yet  never once feeling worried or unsafe.  I'm remembering the cool street markets and the food we'd buy from street vendors.  No big box stores on every corner like here.  Hundreds and hundreds of years of history.

Of course, I think part of this feeling is just me.  I seem to get a discontented "itch" to go somewhere every 6months to a year.  It's been 5months since I got back from Haiti.  I'm too broke to go anywhere further than taking the kids to Korean Heritage Camp in Tulsa this July.  Guess that will have to do for now.  You bet your bottom dollar I'm gonna start saving and praying for a trip next year.  We are seriously considering going to Panama over spring break with a friend who works with Soul Seekers Ministries.  Mike gets to take the seniors from his school to Puerto Rico all next week and serve in an orphanage.  Yep, suffering for Jesus and its even all paid for!!  Just joking, you all know I am.  I'm the one suffering--here with 4 kids all alone! Hmm, no cooking all week--PARTY!

miracles of life

We have always regarded how each one of our 4 kids came into our family as a miracle and gift from God the Father.  This statement puts it into a whole stratosphere of different perspective!
An article in the Korea Herald yesterday stated that
According to the state-run Korean Women’s Development Institute, 96 percent of unmarried pregnant women receive abortions. Of those who choose to give birth, 70 percent give up their children for adoption.

I never realized how miraculous it was that my Korean born kids's birthmom's chose life.  It must have been so hard for them.  Thank you Jesus for these 4 little miracles(even if they aren't so little anymore)

look out strip clubs, Jesus is comin'

No, I'm not joking and I haven't lost my mind!  Well, that may be debatable :)
  Here's the deal.  My youngest sis went to some training at her incredible church.  Two Saturday nights ago, she and 5 other women, who had all been trained, went into a strip club in the city to minster and befriend the girls working there,yes with the managements approval.  They gave the women pedicures and basically treated them with dignity and worth. Katy and Jess's sweet hubbies sat in the car waaaaay in the back of the parking lot and prayed for them for 2.5hours.  Katy said it was just amazing, exhilerating, very dark spiritually, and the women so undressed! But, despite outward appearances and the fact that these women are selling sex to make a living, they were just like any other young women.  Katy and Jess made friends and promises of more time spent with them.  That is exactly what Jesus preached.  He didn't stand in the middle of a new sparkling church gym or sanctuary and wait for people who needed him to come.  He went TO them!  I'm so excited.  Katy said I can go to the training and come too!!!  One special young woman that they really connected with is a mom of 3 young children.  The next time Katy and Jess visit the club, they are taking diapers and baby supplies for the young woman, I'll call "A".  Please pray over this ministry as the powers of darkness would love nothing better than to sabotage and keep the women who work there under oppression and hopelessness!  Their goal is to show the women the love of Christ, help them get out of working at those places, and be whole and healthy women and mothers.

Now, I know what many are thinking.  Is that safe?  Why would young Christian women want to go to strip clubs and make friends with those girls?  That sounds weird, radical and risky. 
Glad you asked my bloggy friends(to coin a term used by one of my favorite bloggers  aplacecalledsimplicity.blogspot.com)  To answer, I'll just type in a long quote from my new fav book  "Radical, Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream" by David Platt
      How many of us are embracing the comforts of suburban America while we turn a deaf ear to inner cities in need of the gospel?  How many of us are so settled in the United States that we have never once given serious thought to the possibility that God may call us to live in another country?  How often are we willing to give a check to someone else as long as we don't have to go to the tough places in the world ourselves?  ...................We live decent lives in decent homes with decent jobs and decent families as decent citizens.  We are decent church members with little more impact on the world than we had before we were saved.  Though thousands may join us, ultimately we have turned a deaf ear to billions who haven't even heard his name.

Mother's Day, shout out to our moms

To my mother,

You always help when we need help.  You laugh much and have fun.  You love all the grandkids and enjoy them.  You think it is funny when they pull out all the tupperware onto the floor(I surely dont!).  Your life teaches our kids to love the Lord and people and that even grandmas go to Africa and China on missions.

To Mike's mom.  You always help us when we need help.  You love all the grandkids and enjoy being with them.  Your teach them about faithful service to the Lord, Sunday after Sunday, year after year.  You still carry the kids around when they wish to be held, even when they are too big for you!  You are the most generous person and bless us greatly.  You are my second mom, not my mother-in-law.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

Fostering, adorable kids, and advanced notice

As most of you know, my sister and her husband are foster/adoptive parents.  I asked her to write about some common misconceptions people have about fostering.

From Foster to Forever

When first considering adoption as a route to expand our family, my husband and I quickly became overwhelmed and confused. Almost enough for us not to pursue it. Foster care kept coming up in conversations and situations and we figured out that God was not-so-subtly telling us to be foster parents. At our first informational meeting, we realized that there were many misconceptions about taking the foster-to-adopt avenue. Allow me to play the role of a myth-buster:
truth
It’s cheap, if not free. As a foster parent, the state pays you a monthly reimbursement for every day you take care of a child in CPS care. The rate is based on the level of care the child requires and varies with agencies. Once your foster child becomes available to adopt, the legal fees can be between $500-$1000 to finalize adoption. Now with my daughter, the state reimbursed us for those fees because she qualified for state subsidy. So not only were we paid to take care of her while fostering, but the adoption was FREE
truth
You can get a newborn! Foster-to-adopt is the only way to adopt a newborn other than private adoption. Foster parents can specify what age, race, and sex of children they would like placed with them. You can even narrow it down to “legal risk placements” only, which means the goal for the child is adoption. I have many friends that have gone to a hospital to pick up a newborn foster child, that became their forever child.
truth
Adoptions through CPS do not have to be open adoptions. Sometimes birth parents request an open adoption for them to stay in contact with the child, but you do not have to consent to it. The law does not require you to keep in touch with them.

By now you are thinking, “What if I get attached to a baby and then they are taken away.” How many times a day do I hear, “I could never be a foster parent because I would get too attached.” Well….let me explain. It’s not easy. Being a foster parent doesn’t mean that you have to be a hard-hearted person that doesn’t care. There is only one thing that you need to be, and that is willing. You say “Yes”, and God takes care of the rest. After pouring your heart and soul into a child for months, you’re going to cry when they leave. But it’s not about you, it’s about doing what God calls you to do. God equips you and prepares your heart. He also mends it when it gets broken. I knew almost immediately after my daughter was placed with us at four months old that she was our forever baby. So far, the love that I have for my foster sons have been totally different than the love I had (and have) for my daughter. Are there days I want to quit? Absolutely. Is the pain or hardship worth the cause? Well, I have a beautiful daughter to prove that yes, it’s worth it!

So, there's a honest look at fostering.

Now, just for the sake of smiles.  Here is my neice Kylie Faith.  I think she is the next face of Gerber!

And, now, an advanced warning.  Warning:  if you like your American Christian ideas about how your life, church, faith etc are supposed to be, and you are not interested in being stretched or challenged for and by God, you'll want to ignore some upcoming posts.  So, I'm reading David Platt's new book called "Radical, taking back your faith from the American dream".  Oh Man, is it counter-culture and gonna blow some socks off!  I cannot wait to post some quotes from it. 

End of an era

My grandparents are 93 and 94.  I'm super blessed to have them around still.  They are fairly healthy and completely sharp mentally.  But, the time has come.  They have sold their home.  They've lived in a darling little 2 bedroom 1 bath white wooden home for over 50years.  It is so sad to see them pack up and move into a senior living apartment(cracks me up that the minimum age to live there is only 55 and they are 40 years past that!).  My childhood memories of holidays are in that little house.  My sister Emily and my cousins and I would sit on the swing in the immaculate back yard and sing Debbie Boone(You light up my life) and the songs from the Grease album--yep record album, not cd or dvd!  My grandmother, mom, and 3 aunts would sit around the kitchen table with JC Penney catalogs or sewing patterns, eat Fritos, and exclaim "How cute!" over the clothes.  At Christmas, my grandfather would give us kids savings bonds. 
I'll sure be sad when the movers come to move their few old belongings to a sterile apartment.  But, in a way, this is good.  This was their decision.  They get to move with dignity instead of being forced into leaving. 
My grandfather has been a bit irritable and dramatic the past week.  Saying things like "we  may as well just give up."  To them, this is the end of being independent, functioning members of society that matter.   He is a WWII vet, they have very sharp minds, tell stories of the Depression, remember all the grandkids' birthdays and are amazing people.  What a wonderful heritage we have!

tips for successful toddler adoption

We are speaking at the adoption preparation seminar hosted by Dillon International and Buckner International on Saturday.  Our social worker with Dillon International always says that it is their plan to prepare you for the worst and be happy when that doesn't happen!
 We are a "been there done that" family coming to share and let the families Q and A with us.  I've been considering some tips to share with the families and thought some of you out there could benefit from them.  Don't think we are completely adjusted, bonded, and smooth sailing.  Hudson is amazing and attached very well.  But, it is still hard sometimes.  He has zero coping skills for frustration and cries a lot.  I get tired so much quicker now and am grumpy.  Heck, it has only been 7months.  These things take time.

Read "The Connected Child"

prepare your family and friends for a tough transition, for them to give the kid space and not compare this child's joining the family to the way other kids may have joined

travel to receive your child

sleep with the child for several months and remember to sleep when toddler sleeps

accept help

treat him as a young infant, carry him in a sling(I love my Hip Hammock), bottle feed(You hold the bottle), rock and sing to him

remember, he doesn't have a clue if you are to be trusted
he doesn't know what it is like to be in your family

discipline--stinks cause you aren't bringing home a sweet baby who sits in a bouncy seat.  You are bringing home a mobile and curious child who WILL touch everything unsafe to touch.  I felt like all we said was "no" those first few months.

Give yourself a break for losing your cool and being angry at times.
schedule?  what is that?

don't compare anything or any milestone that the newly adopted toddler is doing with a birth child--totally different ballgame

Punch anyone in the mouth if they are stupid enough to say "you are lucky, you didn't have to give birth to him,  you are still skinny"

Remember, PLAY and have fun.  Toddlers are adorable!!!!!