So tired of my kids being "aliens"

Here is a ranting that must be done.  I am soooooooooooooooooo sick of dealing with beauricratic idiotic policies regarding adopted children. 

The simple story.  I have made 4 trips to the Social Security Admin office in the city since Hudson came home.  Only one of those trips was simple and successfull.  I went this morning to have a simple name change on his SSN card since his first one is with his Korean name.  After 3 different workers couldn't figure it out, a supervisor came over and asked if I had his green card.  I said "No, that is the one thing I didn't bring"(had adoption decree, amended birth certificate, original sscard, my identification).  She informed me that I had to come back with the green card and they'd change his name, but he'd still be classified as a lawful alien. I told her that this was our 3rd Korean adoption and we'd been dealing with this for 10yrs.  The Child Citizenship Act of 2000(11yrs ago people) states that adopted children would be considered full American Citizens after the adoption is finalized and WHEN could I see SSA reflect that law??  Of course, she had nothing to do with the SSA's policies, she's a worker bee, I get that.  But, this is ridiculous!!!!!!!!! 

I've made 3 different trips to the bank to open Hudson a savings account and they always need something else.  They wouldn't open one in his name until we had a new birth certificate.  Now they won't open it because his SSN card has his Korean name.  The SSA won't give him a new SScard until I come back with the green card.  Then his SScard will be flagged as a lawful alien until we get a Certificate of Citizenship from the Dept. of Homeland.  The Department of Homeland charges 460.00 to process one Certificate of Citizenship!  You can't claim an adopted child on your taxes until he/she has lived in your home for 6months but if you give birth Dec.31--there's your dependent claim.  AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH 

I can't deal with this anymore. We have jumped through hoop after hoop for these children.

At the office, I stood, spoke sweetly, face beet red with tears coming and told the women

     "I know you guys have nothing to do with this, but over and over and over, it is made clear to me that adopted children are considered second class."

I left.

No more guys!  It is not right and it is not fair.  Our adopted children do not deserve this.  We pay thousands of dollars of taxes every year and we don't deserve this.  An illegal immigrant can show up at a hospital and give birth--that baby is instantly an American Citizen and granted as SSN.  What gives people?  I don't have 940.00 to file for Certificates of Citizenship for Dillon and Hudson.  I shouldn't have to do so.  They ARE citizens NOT aliens.  I beg you other adoptive parents, start calling or writing your senators and the State Dept.  There has to be a better way.  If anyone knows who or where to write--let me know.

the 3yr old dictator

Occasionally, I think Kim Jong Il is in the house.  I know, not really funny since he is deranged, but go with me on this.
Hudson is chalk full of personality and zest for life.  He also, is chalk full of attitude.  We lovingly tease that he is the Kim Jong Il of our family.  2 funny stories for you, but first a picure to  laugh at

Anyone else notice a similar pout expression? 

So, a few weeks ago I gave Hudson's little hiney a pinch.  He turned his head around and in no uncertain terms told me "YOU NO PINCH ME BOTTOM" then his hand went up in the shape of a claw and he growled at me!!!!  No lie!  It is hilarious after the fact and I've written it in his journal.  But, that day it wasn't.  I got down in his face and made it clear that he would not speak to me like that.

Last week he had been in a foul mood all day.  I finally put him to bed at 7:30 a screamin' and a kickin'!  He laid on his bed screaming and crying "MOOOOOOMMMMYYYYY".  I did what any therapeutic mother whose been through many attachment parenting classes would do:  ignore the kid.  After wailing a few minutes I hear "Mommy, I crying"!  Poor kid.  He won.  I scooped him up, headed for the wooden rocking chair my parents gave us, and sang to him.  I sure taught him  huh?? :)

Off to clean and bake.  I'm hosting a neighborhood Christmas party for the ladies.  I have no business blogging at the moment--so much to do.  But, alas, I love to blog!  I always wanted to write a book. I guess this in my writing outlet.

The Christmas post part 1

I love that video!  I love the people that started the Advent Conspiracy.  What awesome swim against the stream people :)

So, here it is....I don't like Christmas much.  It is no surprise to those who know me or if you've followed this blog the last year and a half.  Here is what I wish Christmas was:

   simple, 

peaceful,

quiet,

 giving to those in need(lonely, sick, hurting, poor,orphaned),

humble,

 gentle,

no flash and bling,

candlelight Christmas eve service at church

time with family,

sweet music,

simple and lovely little green trees,

loving our Saviour and Lord. 

Because you see, that is exactly how it was when Jesus was born(which, by the way, nobody on earth knows the exact date).  Our Messiah came in the lowliest of circumstances: 

poor,

lonely,

outcast from society,

unexpected circumstances,

quiet,

gentle,

lowly,

humble,

teen mom,

adoptive dad,

Here is what Christmas in most of America has become:  loud, obnoxious, credit card swiping, frantic, wasteful, battery-sucking, Santa loving, bloated, overfed, junk kids and adults don't need, stressful.  Our pastor says that Christmas is like having a huge birthday party for someone and everyone buys themselves presents, but ignores the birthday boy.

My very favorite blogger lives in Haiti with her family.  Here is an awesome post she wrote about her thoughts.  I loooooover her and her posts.  They are truly a swim against the stream kind of family.  And, since I've walked in the exact streets and visisted the ministries where they work, it means so much more to me.  I think you'll enjoy or be challenged by her.
http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/2010/11/christmas-christmas-time-is-here.html

I'll post a bit more in depth about my personal Christmas journey later. 

Not your grandma's christmas carols

First, scroll way down to the far right of the blog and pause my music player.  Then, enjoy a snippet of our school's praise band playing Christmas carols.  Carter plays acoustic guitar.  You guys know I'm a non-traditional kind of gal so this rockin caroling is much more my style!

And, while we are talking about Carter, Lord help us!!!  He turns 15 in Feb. and yesterday we signed him up for Driver's Ed classes(not the driving part yet).  He is currently grounded for making stupid choices.  Oh, my, we have no idea what we are doing as parents of a teenager.  But, last night, we saw that it was going to fine.  He jumped in our bed, snuggled with us, wrestled his dadddy, and basically, for a moment--we were cool again :)
I'll never forget that moment.  It reminded me of when he was about 15months he'd play on our bed every night and we just thought he was the most funny and amazingly cute child ever. 



GO....in 2011

I am thrilled to let you guys know about our exciting travel opps.  I am so lucky.  Mike takes the seniors from his school on a mission trip every year.  This year he is returning to Nassau Bahamas, where he took the kids a few years ago.  Now, I know what you are thinking....Bahamas??  Mission trip??  Really???  Give me a break.  Before you discount that there is a need, read about the place we will be working
The All Saints AIDS Camp:

Rennovate, Rebuild &; Restore
Once a leper colony, the residents of the All Saints AIDS Camp, in Nassau Bahamas, find their day-to-day activity about survival in a run down facility where they've been cast aside by society to live out their final days. Our hearts desire is to raise enough funds to renovate, rebuild and restore, not only the facility, but the lives of the people who live there. It's our hope to provide them with a beautiful refuge they can call home while bringing dignity, hope and the Love of Jesus to their lives, as well.
They also care for orphans and people with disabilites.  Mike loved working there and was struck by the stark contrast of luxury tourism and then a few blocks away children living with AIDS, cast off, not to be seen by wealthy tourists.

The reason I say I am so lucky?  I am going!!!!!!!!  Yep, the 2 teachers who were to be the lady sponsors couldn't go.  It didn't take a twisted arm to make me say YES!   Not only am I going to serve in the Bahamas in May, but I don't have to pay, my fee is paid for!  Unbelievable.

Next, this opp just fell in Mike's lap a few days ago.  We are 99% sure that he is going to S. Africa over Spring Break!!   They will be looking into partnering with a ministry that provides hospice care for children dying of AIDS.  I'd like to say I'm the mature and kind wife, BUT, I'm so jealous! ;)  Really, I'm thrilled for Mike and this amazing opportunity.  What an incredible experience.  But what about money you ask?  Aren't you guys doing Dave Ramsey's Money Makeover?  Yes, we are, but, God!!  That is a fragment sentence, I realize, however, with God, that is all you need.....God!  He works out the details.  He has provided a very large chunk of the expenses already.  And, to be flat honest guys, when Mike and I are on our deathbed and looking back over our lives, I'm pretty dang sure we won't say "Gee, if only we'd put more money into our new truck account(or our 401K, or our new furniture fund, or our kids college fund, or whatever).  I think it will be more like this....
    Mike:  "Honey, do you remember that crazy time you flew to Haiti with 4 days notice and emptied our little savings, and did medical care in the jungle and played with orphans?" 
    Me:  "Yeah, deary, that was INCREDIBLE!!!  What about that time you were asked to go to South Africa and it was a huge leap of faith because it  made zero sense on paper?"
    Mike:  "Oh man, that was so sweet of Jesus to send me there and show me how He is working around the world."



Anybody have some cool trips coming up in 2011?

conspicuous family

I don't notice it much anymore--you know--the stares.  The looks like, "wait, how did this family come to be?"  When Abby first came home, it was big time obvious that we caused great confusion.  That was April 2001.  Transracial international adoption wasn't nearly as common as it is these days.  Mike and I were super sensitive that people were staring or saying rude things about our looooong awaited beautiful princess!!  I think I was defensive and was looking into strangers eyes daring them to make a face ;)
Now, we rarely get comments or stares.  Or, maybe I'm just so busy trying to corral all these kids.  Last night we ate at a hamburger joint near the college in the city.  This one lady was having a really hard time figuring out what was happening at our table.  I mean, the woman probably has a crick in her neck this morning from staring.  Bless her buttons, because the table next to us had 2 ladies at it and one of them was a little person.  The starer could hardly eat her dinner!!!  I think I shared this last year, but it is the best response I've ever heard and must share again.  Our dear friends Mark and Ruth have 2 biological daughters and a little boy from S.Korea.  They were in a restaurant one evening.  An older lady was staring like crazy.  As Mark and the boy walked by her, she rudely stated "He doesn't look anything like you!"  Mark deftly replied, "Yeah, well you don't look anything like God, but He adopted you!!"  Classic.  Any other adoptive parents out there want to share funny comments or retorts?

I don't know why I'm posting about this.  Maybe delaying my Grinchy comment about Christmas in middle class American suburbia---kind a makes me nauseated ya know?

for the gal who has it all

I just ordered 2 glass beaded necklaces for 2 women in our family.  They have all they need and want(and could buy anything they wish for), but I wanted to to get a little something for Christmas to show our appreciation.  So, where did I turn?  Ten Thousand Villages, of course.  Everything sold on that site supports fair trade aritisans, fights human trafficking, and is hand made.   My mother gave me a purple beaded necklace a few years ago that she bought from Ten Thousand Villages.  It was made by women in S. Africa supporting orphans.  Everytime I wear it I feel like I'm helping orphans! 
The necklaces I ordered were made by women involved in an organization that helps persons with disabilities in India.  They were very reasonably priced.  Check it out!

http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/