One year ago tomorrow...so thankful!

At 11pm May 1, last year our phone rang.  Carter was on a youth trip and we were told he'd fallen while ice skating.  He hit his head and blacked out and was being taken to the hospital.  We drove 45minutes to the small hospital in a suburb.  My teeth chattered uncontrollably while I drove(that is what I do when I'm nervous!).  I prayed and prayed.  The worst was not knowing what we would find.  The CTscan showed a tiny spot of bleeding in the brain and thus, he was transfered to the children's hospital in the city at 3am.  The neurosurgeon said there were actually several tiny areas of bleeding in the brain and that Carter was very fortunate.  He spent 2 days in the hospital.  I'm so so so very thankful to the Lord for protecting Carter from any worse damage!  Now we have a reason to make jokes about Carter being hit in the head ;)  Hey, ya have to laugh sometimes or you'll go nuts!!

Just sayin...

I'm not trying to be controversial, just kind of thinking out loud. Is your church adoption friendly?  I know lots of churches are hesitant to stand for a "cause" or come across as endorsing a social issue.  But, my friends, caring for orphans is not a cause or social issue, it is a Biblical mandate.  Did you know there are over 60 verses in the Bible that speak about caring for the fatherless and orphaned?  And, adoption is the ultimate  picture of the gospel.  In Adopted For Life  Russel Moore states
"Who better than those who know Christ to welcome the all-too-often unwanted and discarded among the world's orphans?  After all, our God himself gathers together "the lame" and "those who have been driven away" and makes "a strong nation" of those who were "cast off" (micah 4:6-7).  Jesus' gospel is good news for the sick and the disabled.  In fact, they are the very ones who make up the marriage feast of our Christ:  "the poor and crippled and blind and lame" (luke 14:21).

When we come to faith in Jesus as Lord, we are adopted as sons and daughters of the Heavenly Father.  We were lost and had no hope.  We didn't do anything deserving of adoption.  Our Father just loved us for us and desired relationship with us.  


Another quote from Moore's book that I love talks about valuing life and diversity in our churches.  "But if people in our churches learn not to grumble at the blessing of minivans filled with children-some of whom don't look anything alike-they're going to learn not to grumble at the blessing of a congregation filling with new people, some of whom don't look anything alike.

I'm not necessarily talking about a program or orphan/adoption ministry.  I'm talking about having a healthy vibrant atmosphere at church where adoption is cause for celebration, where people who don't look like you are accepted and loved, where the church body cares for the hurting and lonely children in the world.  If all the bodies of believers, who profess Christ as Lord, took on the challenge of adopting the waiting foster children and the 146million(yes the number is increasing rapidly) orphans in the world, would we need orphanages stuffed with kids, Waiting Child Programs, and tv programs at Christmas trying to inspire people to adopt? Ouch, it is a daunting question is it not?

If you need some info:
http://www.hopefororphans.org/Display.asp?Page=home

 


I'd truly love to hear about how different churches in the US and around the world stand for life, defend the fatherless and oppressed.  Drop me a comment if you have a neat ministry or story at your church.

Illness....yuck-oh!

I posted this on the Dillon Korea forum last night because Hudson's illnesses had me puzzled and really worried.  I think, in part, we solved some of the mystery.  You see he's been sick off and on pretty much since April 1, if not earlier than that.  He would spike a high fever(like 103.5) and not have any other symptoms.  Oh, he'd be coughing and wheezing at times, but that isn't really anything new for him.  The fever would last about 2 days, just to where I'd be thinking of taking him in to the doctor, then he'd be perfectly fine, running around like a madman, and I'd cancel our appt.  He'd be well for several days and then it would happen again, you guessed it, always on Fridays!!  He is such a cheerful and tough as nails kid that he never really appeared ill or I would have taken him back to the doctor(we'd already ruled out strep and ears lately). Plus, it is really quite common for kids newly brought into the States to be sick a lot their first year home.  Their immune systems haven't been exposed to the same illnesses.
After running fever last night of 102  not eating hardly at all since last Monday(food is his biggest love so you know something is wrong!) I took him in today.  BOY, am I glad I did!  The poor child was soooo sick at the office.  His white blood count was 20,000 which is twice normal.  His chest xray showed pneumonia and a little atelectasis, which means some of the tiny air passages had collapsed.  I felt like the worst nurse/mother ever!  He got a shot and a prescription.  We are doing nebulizer treatments three times a day and chest percussion-which he despises. 
Dillon had pneumonia a few years ago and acted totally different.  He was really sick one night and had trouble breathing.  I knew what it was and took him right in.  Hudson is a different breed--he is like a short and tough wrestler who doesn't show when he's down.  Guess next time he quits eating, I'll jump on it ;)
I just want to say this too, thank you God for health insurance, our pediatrician who saw us within 2 hours of me calling this morning, labs and xrays in the office, medicines that work quickly!  After working with people who have no access to medical care in Haiti, I hope I repent the next time I complain about insurance, waiting, meds and such.  We are soooooo blessed here!!!!!

So, this means he's cool?!

We were all surprised to wake up Saturday morning to a beautifully decorated lawn!

Those are lots and lots of plastic forks stuck in the ground!  Carter said "I'm going to clean it up right now."   I said "No!  That is so cool, let's let people see it for a while."  Mike told him that he always wished someone would toilet paper his house as a teenager, but nobody did until his sister got in highschool!  So, we felt cool for a while :)

Becoming a man!

After bath's tonight, this is what I walked in to see

Who knew that at 7 years old you need to start using daddy's deoderant??

My little prayer warrior

Tonight we watched American Idol. It was the Idol Gives Back fundraising campagain. Of course, I cried big time seeing the premature,newborn orphaned baby girl in Uganda being fed with a cup, not even a bottle. The camera pans to show several newborn babies lying all bundled up in lined up little wooden boxes, used as cribs. I was a mess already, but seeing those cribs, my heart really hurt. You see when we picked up Abby at Eastern Social Welfare Society in Seoul 9 years ago, we saw cribs like that. Essentially they looked like shelves lining the walls, with 4 sides on the top. In each "crib" was a tiny bundle wrapped in blankets, Sixty three babies were in the Babies Home at that time(and Korea is the Cadillac of international adoption-they get excellent care!). My daughter had been one of those babies. My daughter was born at 30 weeks and weighed 3 pounds. The "what ifs" can make you lose focus of the "here and nows" so I don't go there. When we said bedtime prayers, my prayer warrior daughter prayed these lines
"Please help Hudson to not be so whiney(he was super duper unhappy today) and be a blessing to momma. Please let Dillon grow and learn and do all the things that we do. Please help the people who have no homes."

We hear this remark from people a lot "Those kids are so lucky to have you." HUH!? Did you hear that prayer from a 9yr old girl? WE are the ones that God showered his blessings on! Thank you God Almighty for sparing Abby's little life and placing her in our home.

Secondary Infertility

I've been thinking about posting about secondary infertility for a while. It's one of those things that you know affects many many people and brings lots of heartache. But, it some ways, it is a condition that is poorly understood, and, to be frank not interesting to many people. Secondary infertility is very lonely. When you have a child biologically without any trouble, you are expected to reproduce again. Let's face it, by the time your first baby is turning one, people are asking "So, when is ___ going to have a baby brother or sister?" Then, by the time the child is 2.5yrs old, those same people are saying stupid things like "you better hurry up and have another baby before he gets too old." This implies that there is a magic window that children should have a sibling. When Carter was turning 5 and we were waiting on Abby's travel clearance I was told the rudest comment. A coworker told me that if Abby didn't come home soon, we'd have two separate families. That is just ridiculous! As if their sibling relationship will be poorer because of an age difference. All the while, the couple struggling with secondary infertility doesn't know what in the world to do! The plumbing all worked one time, so why isn't it working again? Doctors are hesitant to investigate for physical or chemical problems because you've produced one child without trouble. You feel ungrateful and pathetic when you are sad and frustrated because deep down you wonder if that one child isn't enough to make you happy and you realize that other people would give anything to have ONE baby! Couples walking through primary infertility have zero sympathy for you and think you should be happy with what you have.

Another complicated issue is that once you have a child by birth, you are grouped into the "fertile club." You know what I mean.... at every single child's party or playdate, all the momma's begin telling pregnancy and birth stories. Then, all the other momma's end up pregnant with baby number 2 and 3. In some ways you fit in with them, but you also begin to dread hanging out with these friends. Every month is a downer. I tallied up that in a span of 8 years, I'd spent roughly 750.00 on over the counter pregnancy tests. It was easier to just take one when I was 1 hour later than my calender told me I should start--rather than get a glimmer of hope. You were so blessed to experience pregnancy and birth that you really and truly know what you are missing. You kept all the baby stuff you'd need like the crib, stroller, high-chair,maternity clothes. I remember living with intense guilt when we found out we most likely would never have another biological child. I was sad about not cherishing every moment with my baby. What I would have given to have a redo and sit and nurse and rock him, instead of being tired, impatient and wishing those times away.

Looking into options to build your family become more complicated. Do you try to adopt a child that might look like your existing child? Do you navigate the miraculous blessing, and yet, complicated waters of transracial adoption? How would your existing child adjust to that? Do you try high tech fertility treatments or wait, knowing that if it all worked once, it should work again. How long do you wait until adopting? What if your biological child is getting older and older, did you miss that window for a sibling? UGH, very complicated and emotionally sticky!

If you are struggling with secondary infertility, I'm sorry. I feel for ya! If nobody else understands your pain, I'm telling you that I do!