I have no idea what I'm doing

I'm good at faking competence!  People seem to think Mike and I know what we are doing with the parenting gig.  Apparently, we are good at pretending to have it all together. Yesterday, Mike and I were videoed giving some parenting advice for a teaching series that a man in the area is filming.  Then, a mother called me last night and needed to vent/cry about some struggles with her child.  Some days I think to myself "man, it is a good thing there is no video camera hidden in my house!"  I have many short-comings in the parenting department.  Numero uno is the tongue--oh what a destructive device.  I have a sharp tongue and have a hard time controlling it.  If you struggle with the same, read Robert Morris's book The Power of Your Words. Second, I like to be busy and task-oriented which can often translate to my kids not getting quality time with me.  Third, I'm inconsistent.  I'll threaten and give an ultimatum, then either forget about it later or am too tired to follow through.  Really, it is one day at a time, and lots of mistakes coupled with prayer. 
The truth of our inadequacies is out.  However, there are a few tips we've learned over the past 17 years(will be in 2 weeks) and 4 kids later that might help some folks out.

1.  We only are as wise as the wisdom we receive from our constant helper--the Holy Spirit who leads and teaches us       The fear  of the LORD  is the instruction  for wisdom,  And before  honor comes humility Proverbs 15:33

2.  Mothers should not wrap up their whole existence and sense of worth in  their children.  Children cannot fulfill all your heart's desires and it isn't healthy to expect them to do so.  Mother's need to develop their own personhood outside of being a mother(like hobbies, interstests, job, friends, ministry, read books...etc).

3.  Model an outward-focused life to your children and show them that loving others is important.  Mike and I see this all the time.  Parents demonstrate to their children that the most important thing in the whole world is themselves and their family.  The kids grow up with a narcissitic, self-important world-view.  They don't care about loving others as themselves and are consumed with what makes them happy.
For the whole  Law is fulfilled  in  one  word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR  NEIGHBOR  AS  YOURSELF." Galatians 5:14

4.  If you ever utter the words "my child would never..." OH boy, you just stepped in it big time.  Children are born with a sinful nature.  They will disobey, lie, hit, steal, cheat, and basically, break rules.  We pray that when, not if, our children are deceitful that they will get caught quickly; before they become ensnared by sin.
Romans 3:10 as it is written, "THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;

5.  Don't give them everything they want.  If your 5yr old gets an XBOX for Christmas, before he/she even really wanted one, then when do they learn how to wait and want and work for anything?  Make your kids want something big for a long time, delay that gratification--even if you have more money than Midas!  What will you get them when they are 6--their own iPad?!

6. Teach them the value of hard work and handling money!  I tell you what, our almost 17yr old LOVES having a paycheck.  He has bills:  1/2 of his car insurance, buys all his own gas, pays for the data package with his phone, and pays for his own entertainment.  He feels like a man and is living on the Dave Ramsey Cash Only plan.  This will lead him into manhood so much better than being handed money for every whim.

7.  Delay passing out consequences to big infractions.  Mike and I make the kids sweat it out for a few  hours while we chat about the best way to handle the offense.  This makes them crazy!  Hahaha.  Read Love and Logic for this technique

8.  Share your faith journey with your children.  We share big prayer concerns(maybe not all the details of it) with our kids so that they can see how prayer changes things.  Let them celebrate when God moves in the family's life.