The worst part about being a nurse

is loss of control....sometimes I can't make things better.  That is a hard reality to deal with.  Recently, I worked intensely with 1 patient.  Literally, from 7:00 am to 6:22 pm I only left the room 3 times; one time in the morning for a bathroom break, lunch break while my supervisor stayed in the room, and one time in the afternoon for a potty break.  The patient was that sick.  The patient is 20 something years old with a chronic illness that has devastated the lungs and needs a transplant.   At the beginning of the shift we placed the patient on the ventilator,  had 8 life support iv drips going. Despite this, the patient's oxygenation levels were so poor and blood acid levels were so high, the docs decided to try an oscillating ventilator. I've been an acute care RN for 18 years and have never taken care of a patient on this type of ventilator (and the real thanks goes out to the awesome respiratory therapist who sat at the bedside and managed the machine).  I've read about it and listened to a few lectures at critical care conferences, but never seen one. For hours and hours, the significant other, parents, the respiratory therapist, critical care doctor, and I all stood in the room watching the monitors and drawing blood samples;  willing the patient to live until the specialized SWAT team from a huge university hospital in Dallas could get to us and take the patient to their higher level of care.  It was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausting.  We racked our brains trying to make sure we were doing everything we could possibly do to help this young person.  The helpless feeling of watching a very young person on the brink of dying is super frustrating. It is simply terrifying to understand that if you let one of those iv drips run out and don't have the replacement ordered and ready to hang, the patient could die.  There was nothing we could do but wait, and Pray!  Late in the afternoon, the specialized team, including the cardiovascular surgeon who'd flown in to help us out, arrived and placed the patient on a type of lung bypass machine...WOW, that was incredible to get to watch! We all breathed a huge sigh of relief when they drove off toward Dallas.  Then we hugged and high fived each other. What a humbling privilege to get to work with such a team of professionals and help save one person's life. After that, I went to our break room, plopped down and stuffed my face with carbs:  pizza and cupcakes!