We bought a "new" family car and I refuse to be miserable

I struggle with guilt
There, confession.  I'm was beating myself up about getting a newer (2011 Quest) and much nicer minivan.  It is lovely, let me tell you, it is beautiful I dare say.  Everything works!  There is a back up camera---what in the world did we do without that?   The side doors actually open with a button push and then close again without getting stuck open.  Who knew??

Our extremely loved and used Honda minivan was clearly falling apart.  It had 238,000 miles on it.  I know I could have gotten 6 more months out of it.  But, every bump it sounded like all the metal was about to collapse.  It was time.

Why have I been plagued with deep sense of guilt?  Well, first of all, it is a flaw of mine and I'm my worst enemy.  I want everyone to be comfortable around us.  That hail dented van made me feel like I was relatable,  non-intimidating if you will. The what ifs were swirling in my mind:  What if an amazing adventure/blessing/opportunity/need came up and we had to say NO because of debt on a shiny piece of metal?  What if a precious child needed a momma and daddy and we said NO to adopting him/her because of something stupid like not having extra money? Are we being snobby and forgetting to care about the poor and the orphaned if we spend more money on a car? What if people think we are rich , which in and of itself is already a fact because here in suburban middle class America, we are wealthier than about 99% of the world's population.  We would be crude and arrogant to deny that we are. FYI, if your family income is 10,000 dollars a year you are wealthier than 84% of the world's population. Read this for info:     http://www.oregonlive.com/hovde/index.ssf/2012/08/income_in_perspective_americas.html )
  What if Carter changes his mind and wants to go to DBU soon but we can't afford to help pay for it because I'm driving a pretty minivan?   On and on the self doubt and irrational thoughts swirled.  My hubs was very frank with me.  He said "Libby, this is a 3 yr old minivan, this isn't extravagant."  Then, 2 wise young women gave me these words just when I needed them.  They said  "Opportunity/blessing/adventure don't always const money though. You can have debt AND minister the way you love to do."  "The guilt is probably an inner vow that people with fancy cars don't care about the poor and needy.  But that's not you." "Lib, we all struggle with people pleasing to a fault. But at some point, you have to say it doesn't matter what others think.  God knows my heart."  "Your car doesn't make you relatable. Your real-ness makes you relatable."
And so, after cleansing my heart of anxiety and guilt, remembering that we both work very hard at our jobs and try to be good stewards, we signed the papers and are enjoying our blessings!  It was so special because the manager of the car dealer recognized Mike.  He loves Mike's school and wanted to bless us.  We got an amazing deal and a laughably large trade in for our old van (bless the heart of whomever has to fix it up for resale).  When we had to clean out our old car my eyes brimmed with tears!  Oh the memories and life we've lived in that van.  In the back pockets were Legos, rocks, wadded up tissues from Dillon's allergies, an old roadmap, a water hose adapter, and a first aid kit. It was like closing a chapter on our lives with lots of little children. So long old friend.  Hey, now I can get my groove on...my stereo works in the new car :)