Is being a wife and mom enough?

I’m wrestling with this question. Help me flush this out. I've always worked. In fact, since I was 14 years old I've had a job. I like working part-time and being a mom. Mothering is the most important job. Raising humans to be followers of Christ and to love others is the highest responsibility. But with my job, I get the best of both worlds….lots of time home and then some productive adult time and a pay check with good health insurance for my family (I really like getting a good paycheck). I receive recognition at work and that motivates me to strive to be the best nurse and employee I can be. So, now I’m in graduate school to prepare for a move up to the next level. I wonder why?  Why isn't being a busy wife and mother and a part-time nurse enough for me?  Is this something that I feel I have to do to be a successful person?  Is there a deep-rooted desire to “win” and always be the best? Or is God calling me to become a Family Nurse Practitioner for a new area of service like overseas missions someday?  Arrrgh, I’m driving myself crazy!

The dilemma is this:  What about being a good wife and mother? Can I truly serve my sweet family well while working 24 hours a week and also going to school? 

As my oldest graduates from high school this Friday, I am faced with just how quickly the time goes by. I’m honestly going to admit that when he was 2-4 years old (he was a very challenging little boy), there were many days I’d feel like beating my head against the wall and wishing he was grown and mature. Now that it is here, I’m all tearful and wishing I had more time with my little boy.  The time goes by so fast and these years with my children are precious. I don’t want to miss important conversations and events. I don’t want my mind to be in a million directions and too stressed about schoolwork to be able to play Candy land on the floor. Can I not just chill, work my 24 hours/week, be a good wife and mother and enjoy life?

I've read the 31^st chapter of Proverbs several times lately and see that she was a busy, working mother. I don’t believe that anywhere in the Scriptures does God tell all moms they must stay home all the time. Working is natural and I've no qualms about my 2 days a week. The kicker is school. This isn't just any type of class work. Beginning in the fall I’ll be at the campus a full day a week, in addition to about 9 hours a week on the computer. Next Spring I’ll be there a full day a week plus will start clinical rotations (appropriately enough..the first clinical will be Psychiatric Management---Hmmmm, appropriate for my crazy self!). Abby’s 8^th grade Washington DC and New York trip will be next February. My attendance in class is mandatory. Do I choose class or the trip?  Of course, there is also all the money I'm spending on my education. 

I guess the pressing question is what do I really want?  Do I really want to become a NP?  I have no clue. 4.5 years ago when I was in Haiti, I felt like going to NP school was my calling. I want to follow God's call on my life.  Now, the calling has blurred.  I do like learning. I really learned a ton in my pharmacology class this past semester and made an A--I love making an A. I also like showing my daughter that women are smart and capable, they can do more than others expect. 

Problem with me is this:  I’m never satisfied. I see this huge world of opportunities and needs for ministry. I want to do it all, be a good wife and mom, work, go to school, minister, go on mission trips, be a champion for orphaned children, run a marathon, after all, I only get one life to live and I want to live it up…. HELP!

Oh, and what does my husband say?  He supports whatever decision I feel is best. Geez, how helpful is that??  Just kidding, what a great man, he loves his wife so selflessly! Obviously he is the calm and steady one in this relationship. I'm a ship tossed to and fro by the wind.

"The call of God is more than a leap of faith; it is a life of faith. Even when it seems beyond our abilities, we should not be surprised when God tells us to jump."  Erwin McManus