and yet, oh so stressful and confusing at the same time. Who knew how confusing and stressful this would be for the parents? For the last 2 years or so, Mike and I had said Carter would have to attend his first year at community college, gain maturity and college experience, prove to us that he would actually go to class and turn in assignments, and then he could go on to greener pastures. Um, yeah, well that is not exactly a fun nor impressive plan. One of the difficult aspects of living in suburbia and your kids attending a college prep school is the expectations that come with that. "Where is Carter going to college next year?" is the question I've been getting for many months. His classmates are posting acceptances to Baylor, Tech, OSU, etc on Instagram and Facebook and telling each other about moving off to school in August. Suddenly, our very wise plan seems so lame. Then, this came.....
DBU has a great reputation, is the leader for contemporary worship artists (which is all he wants to do), is only about 1.15 hour from us, has a lovely campus, and we have lots of personal connections there. We really didn't think he'd get in. I'll be completely honest here, and Carter is okay with me sharing this....His scholastic career has been anything bu fantastic. School is a chore and leaves him uninspired. He has always struggled with Attention Deficit and literally forgets to take his homework to class every week. Now, if school was all lively discussions, music, and acting....he'd be a rock star student. Take notes during Literature and then a test....well...what notes?? Huh? Did you see that bird fly by the window?? :) You get the picture.
Back to the college dilemma. Another small, private school in Kansas is hotly pursuing him. We are taking him up there next week to visit and audition for scholarships in the arts dept. It looks like a really fun and cool, although very small, liberal arts college. Of course, both the above schools are to the cost of 30 thousand dollars a year!!! Excuse me, but aint no way. We have a 529 college fund, but it would be depleted super duper fast. We have chosen to store up treasures in people's lives(3 int'l adoptions of precious children) and in following God in awesome mission trips overseas, not in huge savings accounts where nobody benefits and thieves and moths destroy (Matthew chapter 6). We refuse to put our family in a financial strain of debt for a cool college experience and Carter agrees with that. So, we have 3 choices: 1.stick with the community college plan for a year or two, see how he does, then move on to a four year university 2. go to a four year public university that is about an hour away and is a very good school for 1/2 of what the private schools are...but they don't have degrees in what he desires 3. pray, fast, seek the Lord, work really hard, Carter work really hard, beg every applicable scholarship fund for money, step out in faith, and send him on to school praying he doesn't get caught up in all his freedoms and forget to attend class. He is a remarkable young man, but not sure he is ready for such freedoms.
As a mother, I'd love nothing better to load him up in August, drive to DBU and move him into the dorm. However, as parents, we must do what is right and best for our children. I'm just not sure that is a wise decision. My parents let me move to a school 4 hours away as a freshman and I HATED it!!! I was miserable. But, if they hadn't let me try, I know I'd have resented them for a long time. At least I got the chance to do what my friends were doing.
Arrrgh, this is hard stuff!!
So much of the freshman experience is determined by the college of choice. You had a horrible experience, but mine was incredible! I wouldn't trade my time at Hardin-Simmons (and the college debt that I still carry) for ANYTHING! The priorities of the college and the environment have safeguards for students. Large public universities don't have those. At HSU and DBU would be the same I am sure, professors knew our names and were INVESTED in us! They don't let you fall thru the cracks and just not go to class. I think Carter would be great at DBU!
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