Week 2, getting n the groove

WOW, what a difference another week makes! Every day gets better and better. I think that if Hudson wasn't so congested and could breathe, we'd be sleeping through the night. Over the past few days he has started using the "more" sign when he wants more bites instead of "eh, eh, eh, eh, eh" whine. He knows how to give high five. He ran up to daddy for a hug, but doesn't want him to hold him, he is grinning at me and thinks I'm hilarious(well, I am!). Hudson is a great errand-runner(I know, not a real word). He actually sits in the basket at Walmart and looks around. He is eating everything under the sun-stuffing pieces into his cheeks as fast as you put them on the tray! Really, he is a jolly little guy as long as he gets his way :) Dillon keeps sitting on the couch saying "I want hold baby". He just doesn't get the fact that Hudson is almost as big as he is and doesn't want to be held like a baby! I think they will be big buds in a few months.

Someone asked me what the hardest part was of adding a toddler to our family. I think it is that I was so out of the baby/toddler groove. Everyone was potty-trained, went to school all day, my house was clean and organized, I was running a few times a week, everybody fed themselves, we didn't need a diaperbag. I'm relearning how to plan our day around naptime(I'm a nap fanatic with little ones!), to pack for every possible need while away from home, to think of toddler type food, and so forth. That part is coming back to me. The hardest part is feeling like I'm never enough. When everyone is home at night, how do I help an 8th grader with pre-algebra, a 3rd grader with a history project, a kindergartner with learning difficulties to learn letters, while carrying around a 21months old who doesn't know where he is and who we are? I feel badly for Mike as I can't have a conversation without stopping to answer the little people around. I struggle with wondering if our kids will suffer because mom is spread so thin(and I haven't even returned to work yet!). Can I be an attentive mom to 4 kids? Can I be a good wife? Can I be a good nurse? Whew, it is all very overwhelming!!

What is the best part? Watching the little personality come out, holding a pudgy and soft little hand, watching Hudson's eyes begin to look at me like "Ahh, you are mommy and I like you!" I remember the day Dillon started all day school last year. I felt so sad, so alone, and like the best chapter of my life was over. Now, please please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that raising little ones is a woman's only purpose, or that I didn't really enjoy some days of quiet freedom and hanging out with my friends! I realize that God has called us to this ministry of adoption, but at the same time, I realize God has given us a gift! Many years ago, we were grieving and thinking we'd never have more than one child. I'd always wanted a big family. What a privelage to see how He has brought us this far. I'm thankful for this great blessing that is wrapped up in a short, pudgy little boy body whom we lovingly call "Hot tub"(that is because that is what it sounds like when Dillon says Hudson!!