So, how are you?

     It's a weird question isn't it?  First off, thank you so much to the kind friends who left encouraging comments, for the emails, the facebook messages, the texts, the calls---we appreciate it so much!
I think I can speak for anyone whose gone through something similar that emotions and thoughts are pretty mixed up right now!  For example, I don't want a bunch of hoopla, I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want a bunch of people calling to talk about it.  But, on the flip side, if I see someone who I know knows, and they don't say a word--just act like life is hunky dory, then it makes me feel like they don't care!  I know, Im a lose- lose situation kind of person, huh?
     Really, it is the most ridiculous experience.  At least with  my ectopic pregnancy, once it was over, it was over!  I'll spare you the details, but basically, nothing is  happening.  My body continues to think it is pregnant and thus, I'm up suffering with morning sickness, all the while knowing I'm carrying a tiny baby that is no longer alive.  Ohhh, I don't want to have a D and C.  I'm praying to begin to pass this very soon.
      As far as grieving, after the  initial news at the doctor, I haven't grieved much.  This is typical for me.  I view things clinically and practically until about 2 weeks after the event and then process it.  Also, this may sound quite callous to some but it is truth, Mike and I were fortunate to not have really bonded to the idea of a baby yet.  We were so shocked and overwhelmed with it all that we had not moved over to pure joy and excitement--I'm thankful for that!
     I belive this will be the last post about this experience.  I'd like to move on to the adoption mythbusters, quote more Radical by David Platt, of course I need to post about school starting, I've got some special needs children issues I'd like to address.