It isn't always hearts and flowers

Being a parent is tough!  Really tough.  My neighbor said something today that made me want to post about this.  Mike and I don't have it all figured out.  We struggle.  We get irritable.  I was super impatient with Hudson yesterday.  He is cycling through some attachment stuff this week and it gets really really old.  He cries constantly and follows me around saying "Up."  When he awoke from his nap yesterday, he had a panic attack and hyperventilated.  I was right there!  It isn't like the child sits in daycare 12 hours a day, he goes to a sitter once or twice a week.  The rest of the time, I'm constantly with him.  He has vomited in at least 5 public places because he gets very easily overstimulated and upset.  I don't talk about these kinds of things because most people have the attitude of "Well, you asked to adopt an almost 2 yr old!"  Being an adoptive parent is like being on display all the time.  I feel like I'm continually proving to people that I'm an okay parent.  Then, when things aren't going well, the feelings of inadequacy instensify.  Our nearly 14yr old son is struggling with some stuff.  He isn't perfect! GASP!  We fail as parents sometime.  Anybody watch that new TV show "The Middle"??  It is hilarious!  I swear, we relate so well to them.  Dillon turns 7 the 14th.  Do you understand how incredibly frustrating, heart-breaking, disappointing it is to have prayed for 5 years that God would heal him of his speech/language disorder?  He tried to tell a story about something at school the other day and we had no idea what he was saying.  How terrifying is it that we don't understand what he tells us?  What if something awful happens to him and he can't explain it?  Then, there is the momma guilt of our quite, low-maintenance daughter getting overlooked.  She rarely needs help with homework, she isn't needy and lets face it, the squeeky wheel gets the grease!  Does she feel unloved?  She mentioned the other day that she is tired of kids in her class asking her if she can see when she smiles because her eyes disappear into little crescent moon slits.  Is she struggling with some adoption/racial angst?  AHHH, it all makes me want to run away for a day and sit on the beach in Mexico with a cool pink drink!  So there, you can see that we have struggles like everyone else.  God keep me humble!  This is one reason living outward focused and serving others is sooooooo important--it gets your mind off yourself!!  And, there is ALWAYS someone struggling more.