We are speaking at the adoption preparation seminar hosted by Dillon International and Buckner International on Saturday. Our social worker with Dillon International always says that it is their plan to prepare you for the worst and be happy when that doesn't happen!
We are a "been there done that" family coming to share and let the families Q and A with us. I've been considering some tips to share with the families and thought some of you out there could benefit from them. Don't think we are completely adjusted, bonded, and smooth sailing. Hudson is amazing and attached very well. But, it is still hard sometimes. He has zero coping skills for frustration and cries a lot. I get tired so much quicker now and am grumpy. Heck, it has only been 7months. These things take time.
Read "The Connected Child"
prepare your family and friends for a tough transition, for them to give the kid space and not compare this child's joining the family to the way other kids may have joined
travel to receive your child
sleep with the child for several months and remember to sleep when toddler sleeps
accept help
treat him as a young infant, carry him in a sling(I love my Hip Hammock), bottle feed(You hold the bottle), rock and sing to him
remember, he doesn't have a clue if you are to be trusted
he doesn't know what it is like to be in your family
discipline--stinks cause you aren't bringing home a sweet baby who sits in a bouncy seat. You are bringing home a mobile and curious child who WILL touch everything unsafe to touch. I felt like all we said was "no" those first few months.
Give yourself a break for losing your cool and being angry at times.
schedule? what is that?
don't compare anything or any milestone that the newly adopted toddler is doing with a birth child--totally different ballgame
Punch anyone in the mouth if they are stupid enough to say "you are lucky, you didn't have to give birth to him, you are still skinny"
Remember, PLAY and have fun. Toddlers are adorable!!!!!
He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8
Your next to last tip cracked me up!! You are so funny but you are right...people will say stuff like that! Or how about, "Oh you'll be glad you're getting older kids, so you don't have to be up at night feeding a baby and making all those bottles" What? As if this child that is coming home with complete strangers is just going to sleep through the night...
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