When not to adopt

This post stems from a conversation I had recently with my friend.  She is concerned about someone she knows how is talking about adopting again.  They recently adopted a toddler from another country.  It seems that they may possibly view the little girl as a cute accessory or rescue project.  They don't appear to understand the huge adjustments the family needs to make or the life-long ramifications that come with adopting a toddler, with some minor medical needs, from another country.  I am very concerned about all the people who think they should adopt because "there are so many kids who need a home."  Or maybe, as I heard David Platt put it they think it is cute to send their Christmas card picture that shows the baby they adopted from another country--like a fashion statement. 

Adoption is for LIFE!  Adoption is not the mere process of securing legal rights to a child.  It is a decision to make that child your beloved son or daughter--everyday of every year.  If a family has the wrong motive to adopt, what happens when the kid isn't cute anymore?  What happens when he/she has learning disabilities, ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, or acts out innapropriately because the only man in the family used the child for his twisted pleasure?

Adoption is also stressful.  The unknowns, the probes into your privacy, the fees, the applications, the fingerprints, the attachment and bonding time etc.  You need to have a strong desire for loving the child to make you persevere.

Yes, I'm a HUGE proponent of adoption.  With 147-163 million orphans in the world and 500,000 kids the US foster system--yes I think lots and lots of people should adopt.  Heck, going out on a limb here--but there are several families I know who have all the resources they need and are great parents and it kills me that they aren't adopting. 

But, not everyone should adopt and no child deserves to be the answer to a guilty concience.  Most of the world's orphaned children have already experienced more loss in their short lives than you and I could imagine.  They do not deserve to be someones ticket to be cool, spiritual, or soothe a guilty conscience.  They do deserve to be someone's priceless treasure-cherished!

The only motivation has to be love--no matter what--the "we are in this 100% " kind of love--the good, the bad, and the ugly.  After all, as David Platt also spoke about, that is what Christ's work on the cross was for us.  No matter the poor choices, the selfishness, the sins, the innapropriate behavior, the special needs, the skin that looks different, He gave it all for love.